Is This Abuse?
What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.
Domestic violence does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic violence. It can happen to people who are married, living together or who are dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
Domestic violence includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship.
Signs of Abuse
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Tells you that you can never do anything right
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Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
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Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
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Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs
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Controls every penny spent in the household
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Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
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Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
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Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
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Prevents you from making your own decisions
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Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
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Prevents you from working or attending school
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Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
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Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
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Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortable with
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Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol
Court Related Abuse
Court-related abuse—sometimes called litigation abuse—is a widely under-recognized phenomenon in which a perpetrator of intimate partner violence will use family law court as a means of maintaining contact with their victims, even when legal protections would otherwise forbid it. Women and their children who have endured horrific abuses, including sexual molestation and rape, can be forced to interact repeatedly with their assailants in the courtroom upon escaping the relationships.